Sunday, December 31, 2006 | 7:13 AM

Typical of me to do do things at the last minute. And so this is how I find myself sitting in front of the com about 45mins before the new year begins thinking about self reflections and new year resolutions.

This has been a year of transition and it is likely that I would spend my next year following down the path of transition I have embarked on. The path of transition into THE SOCIETY.

Goodness how fast shit like this always happens, and who knows how much more I would change over next year. Looking back at this year (and the year before), many of my decisions have been rather rash and sudden ones. Not in the sense that they were un-informed choices, but more that they were made on a sudden impulse after weeks of deliberation, of mulling over certain points of consideration. And looking back at all this, I am surprised to say that most of those decisions turned out pretty well.

I guess the randomness in me must be a subconsious attempt by my heart to spur myself into decision and action after my head has finished computing and weighing those pros and cons. I mean, listing out the pros and cons to something can be easily accomplished, it is weighing them up, and seeing how they stacked up against each other, and then coming to a decision based on your analysis hard.

Which brings to mind a saying which I came upon sometime back.

" When your values are clear to you, making decisions become easier."

What does this say about me then?
That my moral convictions are not that strong enough? Is that why most of us dont make that decision to help that old lady across the road? Or that we see efficiency, sucess driven as more important values than kindness? Is the desire to make money, or find sucess a value in the first place?

Or what about deciding what courses or subjects to take in school? Or what jobs to take up? Do values still provide such major influence and inspiration to one's decision to do something?

Come to think of it. Maybe this is why I am still stuck in a half aimless rut.
Not all people who want to become doctors do so because they want to save people. But there are those who have seen the pains and sufferings of patients and are inspired to do something about it. Neither am I enamoured with the vision of a world where no child goes to bed starving, or uncovered with a warm blanket. But I am not one with the illusions of making lots of money buying and selling stocks, and living life with gold toilets and 42 rooms in a house and a 1.5 metre long dining table lined with delicacies from all over the world. I do not dream about having a little corner flower shop in the neghbourhood either, where I would live above my little shop in the flat above, sell pretty lillies to nice old ladies who totter by, roses to romantic boyfriends, sunflowers to sweet little schoolgirls and wave to everyone who passes the shop by.

I have no values to guide me to make decisions for my life ahead. I only have influences and inspirations from the supposedly evil and rotten to the core media (and actually even then, it aint that bad. We are talking about a media that doesnt allow the airing of Sex and The City. )

But you know, there are quite a couple of things I do wana achieve before I hit 50. And I have indeed decided not to do engineering, assuming I get into a university. I did decide that purple looks ugly on me. And that I would very much like to take up dance and photography lessons. And that I would buy that rice cooker for my mum. And that I would be more patient with customers. And to do just a teeny bit of exercise (maybe once a week) just so I wont look fat. And to treasure my family and friends even more.

You know what, maybe 2007 aint gona be that bad. I am sure I can win some money during the usual rounds of mahjong this year.

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