Sunday, December 31, 2006 | 7:13 AM

Typical of me to do do things at the last minute. And so this is how I find myself sitting in front of the com about 45mins before the new year begins thinking about self reflections and new year resolutions.

This has been a year of transition and it is likely that I would spend my next year following down the path of transition I have embarked on. The path of transition into THE SOCIETY.

Goodness how fast shit like this always happens, and who knows how much more I would change over next year. Looking back at this year (and the year before), many of my decisions have been rather rash and sudden ones. Not in the sense that they were un-informed choices, but more that they were made on a sudden impulse after weeks of deliberation, of mulling over certain points of consideration. And looking back at all this, I am surprised to say that most of those decisions turned out pretty well.

I guess the randomness in me must be a subconsious attempt by my heart to spur myself into decision and action after my head has finished computing and weighing those pros and cons. I mean, listing out the pros and cons to something can be easily accomplished, it is weighing them up, and seeing how they stacked up against each other, and then coming to a decision based on your analysis hard.

Which brings to mind a saying which I came upon sometime back.

" When your values are clear to you, making decisions become easier."

What does this say about me then?
That my moral convictions are not that strong enough? Is that why most of us dont make that decision to help that old lady across the road? Or that we see efficiency, sucess driven as more important values than kindness? Is the desire to make money, or find sucess a value in the first place?

Or what about deciding what courses or subjects to take in school? Or what jobs to take up? Do values still provide such major influence and inspiration to one's decision to do something?

Come to think of it. Maybe this is why I am still stuck in a half aimless rut.
Not all people who want to become doctors do so because they want to save people. But there are those who have seen the pains and sufferings of patients and are inspired to do something about it. Neither am I enamoured with the vision of a world where no child goes to bed starving, or uncovered with a warm blanket. But I am not one with the illusions of making lots of money buying and selling stocks, and living life with gold toilets and 42 rooms in a house and a 1.5 metre long dining table lined with delicacies from all over the world. I do not dream about having a little corner flower shop in the neghbourhood either, where I would live above my little shop in the flat above, sell pretty lillies to nice old ladies who totter by, roses to romantic boyfriends, sunflowers to sweet little schoolgirls and wave to everyone who passes the shop by.

I have no values to guide me to make decisions for my life ahead. I only have influences and inspirations from the supposedly evil and rotten to the core media (and actually even then, it aint that bad. We are talking about a media that doesnt allow the airing of Sex and The City. )

But you know, there are quite a couple of things I do wana achieve before I hit 50. And I have indeed decided not to do engineering, assuming I get into a university. I did decide that purple looks ugly on me. And that I would very much like to take up dance and photography lessons. And that I would buy that rice cooker for my mum. And that I would be more patient with customers. And to do just a teeny bit of exercise (maybe once a week) just so I wont look fat. And to treasure my family and friends even more.

You know what, maybe 2007 aint gona be that bad. I am sure I can win some money during the usual rounds of mahjong this year.

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Friday, December 15, 2006 | 11:38 PM

Woah, it has been long since I updated.

Anyway, a catch up to my life at the moment. Finishing my A levels exams, I started on my job as a promoter in a showroom, but basically the job aint that much of selling appliances but more of counter duty. Till now, I still cant decide which is worse. Being behind the counter and seeing my colleagues explaining the functions of a vacuum, or handling the payment through Nets for that very same bloody vacuum.

And yes, my first paycheck went straight into repaying the debts I incurred for my prom. Up till one day before the prom, I was still having a MCD (Major Clothes Disaster). Thank goodness I had Jas to help me out of my Major Makeup Disaster, and Doreen's timely lending of a LBD eventually saved my face (and subsequently, my life). Anyway, the prom was one whale of a time =) I think I shall not begin to promise to post the pics cox I know I will never have the time to ever do it. =P but I did upload my pics over at jamie's acct. Take a look at http://community.webshots.com/user/ohfiveassixaye

Well, I also had an outing with my pri sch gang. We ended up dicthing the idea of arcade (can you believe that I allowed that?!) and bowling and went for pool instead half way en route our trek to Dhoby Ghaut. We tried out YY's suggestion, which was to assign 3 numbers to each one of us, and our aim wld be to kill off everyone else. My fav moment was when I went on a killing spree (dont know where I got the amazing skills from suddenly) and I shot in one of everyone's into the holes. Do pardon my lack of technical terms here. I am waayy more familiar with the terms "coin slot", "game machines", "gun", "holster", "Time Crisis" and "GAME OVER".

And so, it is coming up to Christmas, the customers are coming in droves, more and bigger than ever. I think I may have gotten a pay rise, judging by the way my manager is trying twist his words to weasel out of this one. And I think we got sabotaged by our permanent staff colleague into having to attend the year end Christams party.

Whee.

Anyway, in the showroom, we are passing around the rudimentary bout of flu (what is christams without sneezing and coughing, and a gazillion germs in the air?) which explains why I am finally able to sit down and tell you a long rambling tale of how my post exams life has gone. Well, I am off to watch, on Youtube, 花样少年少女, which has a lot, but not all of my cute guys in it.

So long now. =)

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