Saturday, June 03, 2006 | 8:02 PM

Dad recently forked out nearly $100 for some Organic Botanical Powdered Beverage which basically was detox things you take which are supposed to clean out all toxins from your body, improve blood circulation, improve enegry levels throughout the day and, get this.. help you lose weight and slim down.

And all he had intended to do originally was to cure constipation.

Anyway, it is okay actually. Mum didnt exactly hit the roof, though she got pretty near the lights, and after 3 days of observing at the sidelines my dad drinking that greenish heterogeneous mixture

(Insert Tom Tan's voiceover: A solution is a solution oredi. No clear solution. You better not give me "clear" in your snswers ah!" )

.. I decided to try it out. I read the words on the bottle doubtfully. It was printed in normal sized font and look extremely insignificant next to all those babble of information declaring "no starch, no preservatives, no..."

Small font my foot.

The very very very important paragraph suggested that first time drinkers may not be used to the taste and that they can mix it into their favourite beverages for easier consumption.

That inconspicuous paragrapgh should have been printed in size 28 font in red, and circled with a 0.5 inch thick line so that no one, and I mean no one, misses that piece of well meaning advice.
Or even come attached with its own batch of flashing strobe lights.

The whole mixture tasted sourish, vile and has a highly distinguishable smell of puke. No, detox is not vommiting out what you have eaten an hour ago. That is what people suffering ffrom bullimia and anorexia do, and is wrong. Detox means shitting everything out. And that is not fun either. The whole thing was vile, vile, VILE! And I had to finish the whole container which is like, 458 grams, which means I have to take an eternity to finish cox you take less that 10g per serving!! *hysteria*

Today is day 3. I am looking at that Incredible Hulk coloured concoction and...

Sigh.

I better lose a few kilos soon or else. I am detoxing, woOH!!!

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