Friday, June 30, 2006 | 4:05 AM
This has been long overdue, but anyway, thanks to YJ!!
Who very kindly got this maple leaf for me from Perth!!
Haha, another advantage of being tall baby!
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| 3:32 AM
My only salvation was that giving up wasnt an option. As soon as the words flowed through my head, the idea was as good as gone. Leaving a trail of whispered memories of academic regrets as a reminder to myself.
Anyway, I am looking back at this week with fresh memories of nights and pre dawns spent awake, studying. And it felt great. No, not as in, yay-I rescued-my-grades-from-single-digit-shame kind of great, but a kind of I went-down-trying kind of great. Still, thanks Jas, good luck to your sale too!
Anyway, something fun happened to me on the eve of Physics paper 3.
And apparently my inability to fall asleep at 3am was not due to the cup of coffee I downed at 11pm, but due to some herbal soup my mum brewed me. You know those designed to inprove blood circulation, concentration kind of thing. Yeah, you shouldnt mix those things with coffee, because, well, coffee works something like a blood accelerant. Cox the net effects are accelerated heartbeat rate, and insommnia. T_T
So well, I went to bed at 3am and set my alarm at 5.45am, and till the bloody second when the clock sounded, I still couldnt fall asleep. It wasnt as if I didnt try to sleep okay. In the end, to prevent myself from falling asleep during my physics paper (8am to 10.30am) and math paper(2pm to 5pm), I subsequently drank 2 more cups of coffee. Oh, and I secured a promise from Jamie to kick my chair if she thought I am falling asleep, which (she didnt, and I am kind of disappointed actually)
Haha, actually, at the end of this whole thing, I sort of find it fun. Since it ties in with my motto to try everything at least once, with minimum damage to my life and I guess I finished my papers. of course I can laugh it off, but I dunno, I guess it is pretty cool to live through things like that, and wear it as a badge of honour.
But I am not gonna pull this stunt off for my prelims and As of course, I dont need this kind of thrill. =)
Dinnertime now, I am off to eat, and hell yeah, I am gonna study for chem paper 1 and 2 this time.
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Sunday, June 25, 2006 | 3:45 AM
I think I should compliment myself on taking things so easily right now with less than 24 hrs to the exams. It feels like a surrender to, I dont know, the evil powers to be. It is like, you know, throwing a tantrum and saying you want out of the game when you know you are losing.
It conveniently eliminates the need to mourn and mope over the exams when you set the pen down at the end of the paper, and when you receive the marked papers.
It is like saying, I am far sighted enough to not invest my energies and time into fighting a losing battle, and am smart enough to cut my losses.
It even allows for you to thumb your nose at the authorities and establishments and say" nyeh nyeh nyeh".
My, what a convenient way to think! I should really compliment myself on this absolutely brilliant idea. Now please excuse me while I go burnt my Maths notes and drink them with water.
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Monday, June 19, 2006 | 10:05 PM
Palawan Beach, Sentosa
Sorry it took me so long.
You know, it has been ages since I watched a cloud the way I used to do.
But I would watch a cloud for you.
Hah.
Grrrr-eeen.
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Sunday, June 18, 2006 | 3:43 AM
Attempts to study have finally grinded to a stop and finally, can I experience the guilt and sense of doom from not studying at all. Man, I am good. I managed to last this long, up till 1 week before the start of the mid years before I finally got burnt out and fed up.
So it is gona be playing Burnout on the Xbox and reading whatever articles I can get my hands on and just sleeping the day away. I am in a need of a little bit of some time adjustment here. Basically my "conscious" hours for the week has been 2.30pm to 3am. And I know I am gona be so dead if I can switch back to normal working hours for the damn tests.
Ever since I changed my msn nick to some grammatically incorrect barb targetted at the biggest planet in our solar system, Mother Nature has been spilling over gigantic bowls of water upon our soils, and I supposed I am glad that I washed and scrubbed (for 1 bloody hour) at my bag and got it dried before the rainy season started.
Which reminds me of all those reports of the flash floods in other countries.
Cant empathise with anyone in the situation at all, but there is this cliche feeling of relief (as usual) and now, a stronger sense of intolerance, disbelief and definitely worry at the fact that why can it be that, whatever we are doing ( if we are doing anything at all) is not improving the situation of the worsening global climate?
Of course there are 2 things to be factored into the consideration of the situation. One would be the question "Are the things being done to remedify the problem enough?" And this is probably a very hard question to answer since there are certainly things done by countries which either improve or worsen the situations at the same time. And of course, the second question, which is of as much importance would be, "Are we giving these problems enough time to recover?" I guess healing is suppose to be a process which requires time and rest, both of which are something we cannot afford, which may be why we are not seeing improvments in the situation.
Of course there is this comforting phrase we can all take heart in, "Time heals all wounds." And if there are ugly scars, there is always plastic sugery.
Right.
Tell that to me when I flunk my mid years that Prelims will be better. Or that if I fail my As I can always be a low waged worker. Oh ho ho ho.
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Thursday, June 15, 2006 | 3:06 AM
There are days when you wonder what all the hype about smoking is about. And you wonder if you oughta try it out.
Those puffs of air you blow out, they seem like the adults' version of bubble making solution, capturing allll your troubles and floating away. And in mid float, kamikaze themselves with a satisfying little 'pop'.
Only the adult, reality version is not that kids-friendly, and neither do they explode with PG rated violence.
But those smoke spirals do look enticing though. Hangman's noose all of them.
So all us none smokers can only contend ourselves with deep heaves and sighs while shooting dirty and jealous glares at those smokers puffing away. Damn.
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Friday, June 09, 2006 | 8:40 AM
Of a quiet sun, chatty winds and a sudden beauty pageant for clouds.
Picture taken at Sentosa.
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| 7:22 AM
I think I am having some sort of identity crisis, or something. Along the lines of rediscovering myself. Of course, it may also be remotely connected to the crazy numbers of comics I have been reading.
I have been like, reading 3 out of 10 issues of compilations of The Sandman. So that would explain the crazy phrases I used in the earlier entries, (as a result of both reading too much of the comics, and blogging in daylight.) And me reaching the end of the whole Sandman series and needing a bit of time to get over his death and get some closure is probably rubbing off on part of my mood too. And all those comics I have been reading. And a variety of DC stuff (mostly Batman collaborations with other illustrators, and The Justice League stuff) and a little reluctantly, Marvel stuff, which is not so much of The Incredible Hulk, but more of The Punisher and The Daredevil stuff.
Come on, let me indulge in this world for a while longer more before reality snaps me out of it.
All these influences from my brother is turning me into a comic geek too. Eek. If one day when you guys are telling me about some new X Men or Superman adaptations and I start doing a know-it-all sneer and unleash a verbal torrent criticising the movie and stuff, PLEASE SHOOT ME.
Of course not, you doofus. I would likely be very mad and bitch slap you back. Just telling me nicely would do.
Anyway, as I was saying, it is just that, my re-discovery of books sort of feels as if an imprisoned Magneto in an iron free cell got re-aquainted with his favourite element in the world again.
I am feeling like Magneto all right. Made me realise that I havent got to read for pleasure for a loong time. Responsibility as a student has made one very much a bookworm for all the wrong reasons. And that, I still have my appetite for books intact despite the long hiatus. For that, I am content.
If only I can read the books in my sleep as dreams.
Been cut off from non-family interaction since Tuesday, and all these cooping up at home apparently is turning me back into the old shell of me again. It is so.. disturbing the ease, and the sense of familarity I felt when I slipped back into my reclusive and rather paranoid state. It felt like being trapped in front of the headlights with thousands of ideas on how to escape yet not being able to carry out even one of them to save you from being crushed by this huge block of, I dont know, judgement? But having a quiet home to yourself for a few days is really quite good for your soul. And it is just so easy to sit and draw or read the hours away. And do a little housework like sweeping the floor and stuff and enjoying it.
Dance a dance with the broomstick, and watch as all those dust mites flee in awe of your marvelous dance moves.
Was very disappointed when I finally went online on Wed to check up on the Shine festival. The submission for the thing I wanted to particpate in ended on Monday. Sorry Ali and Liyan. Sigh. And I found out, it wasnt just the Lindy Hop. They had quite a few dances, like 50s swing, 60s jazz and those kind of stuff. Oh my, the knowledge definitely didnt help ease the pain. Sigh. That really upsetted me quite a bit. Such that I felt inspired to put down some of the stuff I want to accomplish within the next 5 years. And what came out of the whole thing led to another self growth goals kinda thing. Which, yeah, is probably something which somehow affected (not in a bad way) my mood during the week too.
Wow, I just realised that I seem to sound more coherent as compared to my earlier entries! Which probably is not very hard to achieve, judging by the ramblings I typed out in some bright-sun-induced-comics-influenced moments.
Just some remmants of the mental storm I had a few morns ago now and I am probably done. Afew days ago, I was feeling highly suffocated, by all those thoughts of people reading this and stuff. And I was wondering, if I have to separate mk and km again. Hah. I wonder how many actually know what I am talking about. Because this part of me didnt used to be like this, and I was having problems dealing with this change, which came along simply because changes are the only things constant.
I have been sounding like, and am gona sound like a Sandman comic freak sprouting all these lines with reference to the the series, I know. And the worse thing is, noone is gona understand what all these references mean because no one has read it yet, and even if you did, (whoever oyu are), I doubt we are sharing the same frequency for you to understand what that world emans to me.
Still, at the risk of being lambasted as a comic freak, I shall open the closet and declare that Neil Gaiman was not something whichI picked up on after that essay I worte but before that. And that he represents a lot about a world of me which has been around for a long time, so I would appreciate it if no one flings all those poser accusations at me. Of course, I am being paranoid. I admit it on this one. I am freaking out quite a bit on this.
Anyway, what I am trying to say is, change is very much inevitable, and that, Morpheus died as a result of not changing fast enough. He did change, mind you, though it took him 3 millenia and 72 years imprisoned in a glass dome to start and change, but in the end, his gain in humanity and compassion made him less stuffy and less stuck to his need to stick to the rules, but still he lost his life in the end.
Had he remain cold and unconformist, he may still live. Still that heartless a person, but still very much alive. Would he have wanted that? Is a life that precious?
If the whole world says you are wrong, or is behaving in a manner because you are wrong, does ending your life immediately means everything will be relatively better? Or does taking a more arduous path with an unknown destination, trying to change, better?
Dont think the world will change for ya eh?
"And I wish for world peace."- Ms Congeniality
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Wednesday, June 07, 2006 | 8:26 PM
The 3 mirrors, saw 2 thoroughly shattered.
Now lay many broken windows sprinkled on the floorboards, and I see eyes, many pairs of them peering through. Not a reflection, but manifestations of The Corinthian.
I so hate being judged.
Hooper knew all of Kingshaw's weaknesses, and in his unknowing manner, manipulated Kingshaw into holding Death's hands. If only Destruction had left his realm before Desire and Despair wreaked all this havoc.
Was Delirium there?
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| 1:36 AM
Someone once asked, if I take pictures of the sky. There you go babe =) , okay, I think zr asked once too. Haha.
Kitchen window, sunset. I love this one! Heheh, maybe cox it is orange.
Same location- clothes on bamboo pole+mop.
Across Clarke Quay, this was the best I could do to catch the sky on the building without falling into the river.
Outside Golden Shoe Food Centre I think. In B &W .
Near noon shot of the sky (Was it this one which freaked Bee out?)
Sunset from my kitchen window, light metering from building in the centre
B & W shot of afternnon sky
From my kitchen window, Colour Accent: Blue
Turning out of the carpark at my house, AMK, Ave 10 
Somwhere in JB I guess. Sunrise, near 7am?
Turning into the school, construction site for the Circle Line
En route to school (very much on time!)
Outside my house, morn. I like the clouds in this one.
Random sunset evening Liked the golden tawny spills.
Tis but a random sunset evening. Somehow, I see a wing flung out by a bird in flight.
Macritchie Reservoir (for the x-country)This is for all the talks we had, thanks, they made me feel at peace.
What I would give, to have a secret garden like that, where I can click away to my heart's content.
Where I am the Endless to their worlds, or maybe, theirs to mine?
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Saturday, June 03, 2006 | 8:02 PM
Dad recently forked out nearly $100 for some Organic Botanical Powdered Beverage which basically was detox things you take which are supposed to clean out all toxins from your body, improve blood circulation, improve enegry levels throughout the day and, get this.. help you lose weight and slim down.
And all he had intended to do originally was to cure constipation.
Anyway, it is okay actually. Mum didnt exactly hit the roof, though she got pretty near the lights, and after 3 days of observing at the sidelines my dad drinking that greenish heterogeneous mixture
(Insert Tom Tan's voiceover: A solution is a solution oredi. No clear solution. You better not give me "clear" in your snswers ah!" )
.. I decided to try it out. I read the words on the bottle doubtfully. It was printed in normal sized font and look extremely insignificant next to all those babble of information declaring "no starch, no preservatives, no..."
Small font my foot.
The very very very important paragraph suggested that first time drinkers may not be used to the taste and that they can mix it into their favourite beverages for easier consumption.
That inconspicuous paragrapgh should have been printed in size 28 font in red, and circled with a 0.5 inch thick line so that no one, and I mean no one, misses that piece of well meaning advice.
Or even come attached with its own batch of flashing strobe lights.
The whole mixture tasted sourish, vile and has a highly distinguishable smell of puke. No, detox is not vommiting out what you have eaten an hour ago. That is what people suffering ffrom bullimia and anorexia do, and is wrong. Detox means shitting everything out. And that is not fun either. The whole thing was vile, vile, VILE! And I had to finish the whole container which is like, 458 grams, which means I have to take an eternity to finish cox you take less that 10g per serving!! *hysteria*
Today is day 3. I am looking at that Incredible Hulk coloured concoction and...
Sigh.
I better lose a few kilos soon or else. I am detoxing, woOH!!!
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Thursday, June 01, 2006 | 2:19 AM
Dream (or Lord Morpheus, or The Sandman if you please) drawn chibi style!!!~~~
And Dream with his sister Death. =D
Okay, I know they look kinda wierd here without the storyline, but this is the only shot I can get of them together. Aww... *sighs happily*