Saturday, February 11, 2006 | 6:03 AM

I used to be able to write nonsensical stuff and not have it linked to me in real life. I even got away with writing about a maniac computer mouse and leaves.

Was talking to Mrs Chan during CT period and she said something that got stuck in my head. She said, whatever choices we made, dont look back. She mentioned her coming to S'pore on her own and studying for 3 years. That she taught physics cox there were enough bio teachs. She emphasised not looking back and continuing to move on and to work with it. The talk helped put certain things into perspective. And there was this interesting discussion about a particular gender. Hmm, Mrs Chan can be FCP too but she really learnt to work with it. It was funny listening to her talk abt her family. =)

Then there is the class committee workshop today. It was the same instructor who was with us for the whole level camp thing. He is different now, and I now know why he was uncomfortable with the large number of students he had to work with. How I wish that I an take more away with me. There was so many things to learn, yet so little time. And I missed the gathering at Liyan's hse in the end still cox despite saying tt we were to be released at 5.30pm, we left at 6.35pm. =(

Still, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHAY, JAS AND YJ!

10.15 now, too early to sleep, too tired to do homework. And all sort of random thoughts are floating into my head.

A couple of months down the road, I am still struggling with the concept of living and let live. So this is how having questions and no one answering them feels like. I once had this fav phrase, it is no longer a favourite. But it went something like, "To start a journey of thousand steps, you must first take the first one." Woah, it sounds like some translation from chinese saying. And I wonder if I ever will have the guts to do tt. Come on mk, stop being a lousy coward and acknowledge it.

I keep looking back, seeing the shadows trail behind me. And suddenly, the intensity of the darkness of the shadows seem to transform into my burdens and all I want to do now, is to call someone for help. But my voice cant reach those ahead whose shadows are rapidly disappearing into the distance. I turn back, and see, someone's back heading in the direction my path is leading me away from.

I have forgotten how good it feels to curse. I am gonna relearn that.

|