Saturday, January 28, 2006 | 7:09 PM
Happy Chinese New Year everyone!
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Friday, January 27, 2006 | 10:29 PM
For every flower that gets to full bloom, bursting into our life with its beautiful colours, there is another flower which will have its beauty extinguished like a flame in the wind. This is a picture of a flower found dumped in a styrofoam box of soil, snipped off in sacrifice such that its other mates will get to shine.
They are still very much beautiful.
Flower parade!
I didnt exactly mean for such a huge contrast between the colours but the results look not bad doesnt it? If you cant tell, it is actually of plants creeping up a wire mesh, taken upside down facing the sky, hence the large contrast. Erm, somewhere near Bugis Junction near the NLB I think.
They look like orange butterflies, suspended in motion. =) Taken in front of NLB front porch.
Family photo: The buds, the flower, the stems and the leaves. =)
This is taken from the flower shop which Jam and Dor bought their champagne roses from. There were a huge variety of potted plants in bloom during the CNY season being sold already. This pic is kinda dated le, it was taken after the chingay practice with Bel, Jam, Bee and Dor.
I cant rmb, are those supposed to bloom? Hmm, none were in bloom when I saw them. They still look cute though. =)
My houseplant! Hee, if you are lucky, on warm days, you can smell the fragrance wafting from the plant. It has a tannine quality and smells of tea! =)
Plants outside void deck.
And photos taken at MacRitchie!
Canal by the bus stop outside the reservior. I had wanted to take a picture of the colour of the water in the canal. It took on the colours of the fallen leaves of shades of orange and browns. But I have come to realise I like this picture with its depth created by the canal going into the picture more. =)
Took this while standing on a bridge made of wooden planks.
And along the way to a bus stop, this creature was teetering around.
And the turtle!! I think it was Weiss who pointed it out to me. However, I missed the chameleon which Kelv told me was beside his leg for a moment. =( Still, the turtle is like so pretty!
And... There are also pics of Weiss and Dor posing on the park bench, which I have decided not to upload cox I am afraid Weiss would force me to play soccer for the rest of my life as revenge. Anyway, it is on Msn groups la. And I am sorry to say that I deleted the only front view pix of the pose. Sigh. ZR wasnt fast enough to capture that. Haha, still it was a fun moment for everyone.
Mum and Dad may be bringing me to the flower fair at Sentosa! ( I didnt know there is one, actually.) But still, whee!! =)
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| 1:47 AM
I am so glad that along the path of life I have so many people to walk with me whenI dont want to run. Thanks to all who have encouraged me to run and ran and walked with me, be it physical or emotionally. =D
There are gonna be a lot of photos. And this will be one long entry. You have been warned.
Today is really a happy day for me so I am gonna do my best to write the details down so that I will never ever forget it.
Reached the place kinda early and took attendance. I coulnd find a pen at first and no one was willing to volunteer a finger. Yj, however, volunteered her teeth. =D Anyway, also found out then that me and Jamie cant help Mrs Chan with the prize presentation stuff cox we are a little too.. "out-standing" so Mrs Chan chose Dor, Bee and Jasmine to help instead. Height discrimination!! X) Haha, actually, it was just as fun sitting down and watching everything. More about that later.
Mrs Chan lent us the use of her car for us to store our stuff and after deliberating for a while, I didnt take my camera along with me, which is to both my immense relief and regret. Regret because as I was running, I was constantly bemoaning the abundance of photo subjects and there I was, without my cam!! My relief cox, had I brought my camera along, I would really have come in last for the run. ( As I discovered that one oft gets left behind by the others when one is taking photos.)
So, we were at the starting line, so close that we were right behind the teachers, who are starting their race before us. And we saw Mr Seah!! And if I am not wrong, with his wife too!!! And he had a 5 MP camera with him!!! *wails* As you might have noticed, I had begun bemoaning me leaving my cam behind even before the race started. mk is such a whiner. =) Oh well, and then Mr Seah took a pic of us ( me, Dor, Jasmine and Bee are running together). I hope we can get a copy of it in some way of another. *hopeful* Not only cox it is a pic of 4 of us but also because in the background, there is this scene of water reflecting of the water surface with the sun obscured by clouds in the background.
And we saw Mr Wan and Mr Haniss amongst those who are taking part in the teachers' race too! Haha, the day before, Mr Wan was telling as a couple of us about wondering whether to run today cox he was still kinda sick. And he even joked that at most we would have a new relief teach next week, at which we exclaimed in horror. Haha, and still he ran, and if I am not wrong, came in 5th!! Haha. =D Mr Haniss was just as funny. Right after the race for the teachers started, (the girls are still gotta wait for 30secs), Mr Haniss turned back and declared, "Anyone who overtakes me will have marks for the test deducted!" XD Goodness! There was an uproar at the starting line when all of us girls who heard him were torn between mock horror and outrage, watching him chuckle as he sped away. Haha, it was a great parting shot man! =D
So the race started and everything felt right. I would do my NAPFA in the reservoir anytime over 6 rounds on the track. Really. It felt so great to run in the forest and having the light spilling past the leaves onto the damp forest floors. And to feel and hear gravel crunching beneath your feet as you run. And past those trees which has beautiful vines of a deep green crawling and entwining with the trees. X) Goodness. There were so many things which I had wanted to capture on film so much. We pushed past 1km without stopping till we reach uphill where we slowed down to a climb before running downhill again. I wonder if it is the excess oxygen, or the peaceful hum of the forest, or all those green tapestry but the run in the forest felt really short.
Then there was the reservior itself. Actually these are the shots taken after the run from the external perimeters of the reservior but still. =)
This is the boardwalk. We were running beside the planks and we then entered the forest.
Me being abandoned as I was clicking shots after shots away. That happened quite regularly, accompanied by either "You are taking pictures of flowers?!", "Not again.." or sometimes, "Where is mk?" =D
At the end when we are reaching the uphill slope to the expressway, the hill was kinda steep but the sun rays cascading down the bumps on the hill were absopultely beautiful. The leavesaround the path all caught the rays and there was this scene of a stairway to somewhere heavenly beyond. That was when I felt really thankful and happy that I got to take part in the run.
Of course, after passing through the forest onto the roads, the spell was broken, I was confronted by a (rather ironiccally opposite) sight of what I had envisioned.
The sight of vehicles of all shape, sizes and colours whizzing past on the expressway spewing black fumes into the air. Eeewwww.
Fast forward to reaching the finishing line where I spotted Mr Chee among the welcome commitee. The exchange basically was about him laughing at me whenI exclaimed that he wasnt running. =D After which I continue my dash towadrs the line with shouts of "There is Milo at the end!" "Jia you" from the councillors. Had a discussion just now and I do agree with ZR about having ppl at the finishing line. It feels kinda great to see familar faces at the end there cheering and hearing encouragement from all directions. And also, of course, the welcoming sight of bottled drinks.
And here are the pictures of the CNY performance.
Here is the Pugilistic society getting ready for their lion dance performance.
Jin Zheng is working the lion's head of the lion in the foreground!! And he dared to tell us he is a small fry!! Go ah zheng!! =D
And here is JZ going up to Mrs Chan upon the egging of our class. =P Hehhehheh. Guess who thought of the idea? =)
This is the teach's performance. Can you see Mr Wan? A little anecdote. When the teachers went back to their seats after the 2nd song ended, Mr Wan walked past us and we called out to him. And before we could say anything, he went "Thank you thank you" with a grin. Haha, and we all cracked up because everyone knew full well we were about to tease him about going up to sing. =)
And the CO performance. And that is Genial in the orange shirt.
Some other pics during the performance. This is an ang pao which was lying desolately on the road. I quite like this.
A happy (I presume) kid with her orange! Sounds familar. =P
And after all those stuff, we were dismissed. But not before Mr Kwek wished us a happy new year and "J2s getting straight As for your A levels!!! " Ain't that cool!! That definitely brought things to a high. =) We then made our way to the carpark to get out stuff. We spotted Mr Chee still hanging by the tents on the way and demanded to take photos. Haha. =)
(Mr Chee + us) X)
Having reached the car and retrieved our stuff, I wanted to take photos and someone, (Dor I think) wanted us to take photos with the car. And just nice, Mr Wan entered the carpark to get his car too. So here you go, presenting (Mrs Chan's car + Mrs Chan+ Mr Wan+ us).
Then we wanted to take a pic with Mr Wan's car too. And when Mr Wan pointed out which car belonged to him, I shrieked. It was a beautiful shade of amber orange!! Haha, Jam didnt like it as much, though she likes orange. I think Dz put it best, that I like the autumn colours. So maybe thats why I am so in love with that car!! Mr Wan kindly allowed us to take pictures with his 3 -DAY-OLD car and even let us touched it!! Oh man!!
After which, we made our way to Thomsom Plaza for lunch. I took quite a bit of photos along the way, but I cant upload so many at one go, so I shall leave them till another time. Anyway, so the whole x country was one really fun part of the whole day.So after that, we wanted to go shop but because Thomsom is so out of the way and everything when we eventually reached J8 to take another transport, dz didnt want to buy his clothes anymoer and went off to meet up with his friends. Jam went to meet her mum and Dor went home.
Which reminds me of a discussion we had b4 during the lunch we had after chingay prac. The conclusion was tt Dor is the type, along with Jam, who will crash and wana sleep after exercise. Me, Bee and Bel get hyper. Haha, so Dor really was like dozing off just now le.
Abandoned in the middle of J8, there were ZR, Kelv, Weiss and me. Met David, who was in goth and looking not bad in tt, and Bee and Jasmine, who were on their way for their CIP. After discarding choices such as pool, bowl and I can t rmb what else, we settled on bball near Weiss' house. And that was the second highlight of the day.
We went back to the court which we went near Catholic HIgh the other time, and found two bunch of quoth Weiss, "green shorts" playing bball. ZR asked if we could join them but they were leaving. Then we lucked out when ZR asked 2 guys who appeared if we could join them. Goodness, they were darn good! Based on ZR's analysis, Weiss and Kelv's teammate is more rounded in terms of his abilities. He may lack me and ZR's teammate's speed and agility but he makes up fo rit with his accurate shots. Man, it was like art in motion watching my teammate shoot. He got that intense look of concentration, and his drift is nice. And he looks good playing bball. Like Edison Chen that type, slightly paler, and attitude also. Sigh. He seems to be from a sec sch though. Oops. Haha. Stop tt bimbo thing mk.
Still, it was fun playing bball with them. Sometimes, I just like sitting back and watch ZR and tt guy play lo. They are so good, I can slack abit. Haha, it felt great to play rough. The only shot I was proud of, not that a lot made it through the hoop (damn!) was the one which chopped through when we were shooting to divide into teams. Oh! And I got a bit of a tan! Whee! And I get to work off my hyper-ism.
And Weiss wanted to play soccer. That MCP asked me to play goalkeep coz noone wld dare to shoot the ball that hard at me! Grr. =P Haha.. Reached home at around 3+, happily grimy and tired. It is really a happy day today!!
Will upload the shots of the flowers and the turtle Weiss saw which I managed to capture on film another day!
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Thursday, January 26, 2006 | 4:54 AM
There isnt much time to blog nowadays! I rmb that my very early entries were like extremely long (if I only could have written that much for my econs test) and regardless of the content, I missed the times when I can sit down in front of the com and type away without having to worry about homework. Now, I prefer to upload photos and just let them take up a thousand words each.
It is as if life's little luxuries are all evaporating away.
It is different in JC2. Just like how Sec 3 and 4 are I guess. Suddenly, the threats and worries about us not doing well for academics are becoming seriously real. Gaining knowledge is a very fun and interesting process, and to me, all the stuff we learn seem to tell me a little more about how people ( be it the people who made the theories, the lecturers who are presenting, and even our tutors), we see a little of the world from their eyes when they pass their knowledge to us. You see the exuberance they exhibit when they are describing certain reactions or explaining certain laws. That is because they do believe in those theories and equations, and that they are glad that your question opens up the wolrd of their subject more.
I have heard that people say it is a joy to teach ( erm... ok..) but I think it is more of a luxury and joy to learn. Not only about the subject but of the people around you. While there is the issue of what is the point of learning what you don't like, still to me, I think, any knowledge is useful in its own way.
Which reminds me. After CNY, I believe it is gona be a fast gallop all the way till A levels. There will be no more time to smell the flowers, take a breather. School, I believe, will lose its appeal to me then. Yet again, the inevitable sense of unpreparedness, the anxiety, the endless cramming of knowledge. And after that, the inevitable sense of parting, of separation. And so, assumnig that we move on to universities, the last phase of almost everyopne's student life, and then..
We shall be thrown out into the socitey. We will then be labeled as adults.
I once mentioned that I don't want to grow old. And teach said, one doesnt have to grow old, but one has to grow up. And this is the very thing I find myself not wanting to let go off. It ties in with some other views that I have. It is really scary how much responsbilities adults have, and I am afraid of having to live a life where everything is for real. Tests, homework now translated into projects, presentations, annual staff evaluations. I dont want all those freedom spoken off by my generation. What is the point of being free of I am not going to be happy?
My point is, I dont think I will be a happy adult. Maybe I will be a kidult or something. Is this a reason why people become teachers? So that they can remain connected to a student life? Doesnt it make things more painful living youth through someone else?
Sigh.
I think I oughta catch up on my sleep.
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Monday, January 23, 2006 | 5:39 AM
It is amazing how fast and swiftly hatred kills. Like a viper, it silently uncoils from the depths of your soul, twists its body around it, ensnaring you. Striking so suddenly that the ferocity of your spite surprises even yourself. Like smoke, catches the light and reflects it off to other parts of your mind, poisoning your sanity, till your dislike for someone grow into something so intense, it clouds your vision, choking your lungs with toxic fumes.
Like fire, consuming your spirit, so painful it is to hate someone and to be hated, with charred flesh a reminder, that never can one be totally freed from it.
It was never someone whom I simply disliked. Sometimes, I get very close to hating it. And today, I saw its cursed soul in someone else. We are never free from our hatred for what we hate does exist in the depths of other people around you. And everyday, I get reminded of its foul pressence and again, my soul burns and writhes and thirsts for the extermination of it so that I can be sane again.
How can I still not let it go? While I seem to be just fooling around, rage burns, and I so hope that at somewhere else, it can feel the unknown fear of being hated by something unknown.
On a less intense note, feeling something is not a deliberate thinking process. I don't intentionally search someone's face trying to do a facial-emotion analysis. People usualy ( I think) can just feel it. And I dont really have a choice over whether I want to see or sense how someone is feeling. Actually, it is a natural thing which all humans are equipped with so that they can be more considerate and sensitive to other people's feelings.
I am not a freak.
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Saturday, January 21, 2006 | 7:13 PM
Proudly presenting... ... Sector 3.1 !!!
The ladies of Sector 3.1!! From left, Latifah, Serene, Jie Ying, me and Clarissa.
And the guys.. From left, Jeremy, Yu Teng, Pillai, T, (I couldnt hear his name as he had introduced himself when he joined us only on tt day, sorry.) Samuel, and Kim Wei.
Had Chingay practice yesterday. It is the last practice at SRJC and our next practice, which is a refresher with the American professional cheerleaders will be at the PA. I cant wait to see them again! This also means going home late at night for 3 days straight on 2nd, 3rd (preview) and 4thFeb (Actual Chingay performance).
Speaking of which, I knew it! I should have practiced rollerblading more conscientiously! If not, I definitely would have signed up for the Quick Response Team, which will be around 20 ppl in numbers and will be travelling up and down the stretch of Orchard Road.
As predicted, the day started late again, due to some adminstrative hiccup. The V.P (is it? I cant exactly rmb) tried to rev us up but while his dialogue were kinda uninspiring, I think his enthusiasm was transmitted to us by his body language.
Read yj's blog and I feel kinda bad. As someone who joins in later, I think it is really kinda tough. For eg. all the nyjcians in my grp has been to the first training and so we know almost everything. And along with T, who was there too, we sort of like know the cheers and everything le. Which basically means, despite us not intentionally trying to exclude them, excluded them I guess.
Anyway, I had great fun with Latifah, Kim Wei and T around. KW is like the serial cheerleader lor. In terms of cheering and in leading the cheers. It was great fun cheering with him cox he actually wants to go right to the front and to the open spaces to cheer. While I didnt dare take him up in his offer, neither did the rest, we were like very high. T and Latifah both are great people to chat and joke with. T also has a great wealth of experience, ( I think Merv also has quite a fair bit) in partcipating for Chingay ( he was an usher) and NDP.
After that, met up with the rest of the s6aye babes for lunch. It was really fun. We also had this discussion and sharing session on our studying and sleeping habits, following our discovery sleeps like at 2++ and I only sleep at 1+ only lorh!! Yup, then we began playing with our food and taking pictures, which I think I will have to upload on the msn group cox I tried uploading the pix on hotmail to send them and the pics are like horrednously huge.
Then I went home, thinking I can finally take a crack at my homework. but Mum asked me of I wana go shopping with them at Chinatown and so I decided to take up the photo opportunities presented and I went. Unfortunately, I didnt get much nice atmospheric shots because thanks to the rain, the bustling scenes werent quite what I hade envisgaed. However, I got very nice nightshots playig with the water droplets and lighting, in the car. Think I will upload them when I have the time.
Meanwhile, I got a new waist pouch, cox we are only allowed to bring that for Chingay. I spotted this stall selling watches for $10 and there were the nice, metallic, chunky watches!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But they were supposed to be for the guys, cox apparently there are nice, sweet, slim little watches on the right for the ladies' slim wrists. Whatever. Anyway, I didnt buy them not because of the gender divide but cox I dont have any money. =( And since Mum bought me the pouch le, obviously I am not gona ask me to spend more money on me.
Last note, anyone wana win a set of Risk, Boogle or Game of Life games? All you have to do is to get one of the three highest reading rates in the Drum and you can walk away with one of this brand new game sets! (There is this Monopoly LOTR edition which the members have decided to keep for themselves and not put it out as the prize. So, too bad. Oh well. )
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Friday, January 20, 2006 | 5:11 AM
One day, I turned to talk to him.. But he is not there anymore..
It is like learning to ride a bicycle with you Dad holding onto the back of bike. You wobble along the path, everthing is going right, and after you made it through a rough path safely, you turn back to give a huge grin to discover. He is not there.
You peer into the distance, and see him as the person who is excitedly jumping up and down, waving his arms energetically, wearing an equally huge and just as huge grin on his face.
Depending on the rider, at this point in time, you may also crash into something and fall off your bike.
Suddenly, you think of all the things you would give up, just to let Dad teach you how to ride the bike all over again.
Maybe it is time to stop being so reliant on him.
One day, I turned back, and saw nothing else on the path save for my mulitple shadows. I kept searching for her in the crowd, and still I keep searching..
It is like looking through your photographs you have taken when youwere youg. Those brown, faded pictures depicting tiny little frames of your life. Then you realise, with a pang, where is that teddy you had when you were younger?
Its physical existence had been washed away thanks to the cruel anitics of time, and blanked out from your memory the instant the bright lights of the future shone upon them as you now mindlessly seek the elusive glow, glimmer, gleam.
Have she gotten lost from me? Or the other way around? I want her back...
He, shes, these random selves of mine.
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Thursday, January 19, 2006 | 4:40 AM
Flora galore!!!
Already, this is a contradiction, no? Haha, still, I like the green. =)
vk babe, this is the plant i told u about which my house has. I think these are the leaves, and they really look like butterflies without feelers, right?! When you look from afar, they look like a beautiful bunch of butterflies descending upon the soil. =D
These are my neighbour's flowers. Actualy I had meant to snap the fruits, not the flowers.. But I was kinda afraid my mum wld kill me if she catches me doing that. =P This is one of my favourite-st shot of the day!! *beams* 
The flowers of the plant with KMnO4 coloured leaves, have lilac flowers, much like when you burn potassium. =) I like how they caught the sunlight and glower.
And.. The flower which made me the happiest person on earth today!! I am really touched, and yup, I am feeling cheered up!~ Love u babe!! Thank you. =D
PE tmr. 5 items. Was practising with Dor and Bee just now, but I think, depsite coaching from Mr Lim, (which was very very nice of him, n i still see no sign of the sadist n insensitve side of him), we didnt do really well.
Anyway, goal setting.
Sit ups: >40
Pull ups: 7 (and I will die happy le)
Shuttle run: 11++ (pass this, and I will be really really happy)
Standing board jump: 189 though I suspect I max can hit 182 only. =( Damn the guys for being to jump so far. Grrr.
Sit and reach: >40 cm
Gotta go do finish up maclaurin n start on integration le. And oh no!! Physics prac!! I forgot to hand up!! Oh my goodness................ *wails*
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Wednesday, January 18, 2006 | 3:49 AM
Remember how it felt like when there is rain pouring down at night, chilling you to the very end of your toes when you crawl under the blankets for bed?
Christmas' rainy season overran into 2006. But there is this really interesting difference in mood I felt between December and January.
In December hols, when you still have the luxury of whiling your time away, it seems like one of the greatest luxury to just snuggle under the bedsheets when you first wake up. Enjoying the toasty warm feeling under the bedsheets, listening to the musical sound of raindrops splattering against the window. Then when you finally drag yourself out of bed, the first contact your feet have with the chilling tiles of the floor sent shivers up your spine. Breakfast consists of warm coffee, and the mental devouring of the news. Or maybe the wolfing down of the beauty sights and sound the dewy morning offers, right before day breaks, against the curtain of rain right outside the window, with grey clouds as far as one's eye can see.
It was a picture of contented solitaire.
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Tuesday, January 17, 2006 | 6:25 AM
Today was a bad day. First thing in the morning, got a piece of someone's mind. What threw me way off was the unexpected force of her combined verbal abuse and body language. It was kinda wierd because Dor was kinda unperturbed by it, but I got so affected by it. Dor was perceptive in pointing out that I seemed affected by her words. It was damn true. For one damn fucking hour during the lecture test, all I could hear were the words echoing in my head and it was terrifying because I found out first hand that things like this can stay in your head and make you go mad.
But after her pointing it out, and us talking a little about it, I felt a lot better. And I am amazed at the sense one of her sentence meant. Still, this reminds me of being overly influenced by certain signals and I hate it when I either gets it wrong or take it too hard. Help.
Then there was physics tutorial. We were given TYS question which Mrs Chan said only secondary school level knowledge was needed. And while everyone else was busily scribbling their answers, I simply couldnt make sense of it. Mrs Chan then walked over and said I was worrying too much and told me to relax. I would say that accummulated emotional stress thus take a strain on one. Because when Mrs Chan was explaining the answer to me, I think I scared her. Hmm, I hope she doesn't get the impression that I am like stressed to that extent cox there was something else which affected me earlier on.
All in all, the day was kinda bad, and I think tmr is not gona be anymore fun either.
Though again, I had loads of laugh just before econs started and during the break.
I am awed once again, by the beauty of life I saw reflecting off one's eyes.
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Sunday, January 15, 2006 | 1:36 AM
To vk =D
First, in answer to your comment, yes!!~ Anyway, I only found out from jiaying that you are in Chingay when I met her yesterday too!! Btw, I just caught your entry and the pix of the orange! Aiyerh, I took that 3 days ago when Mum bought these oranges and had wanted to flaunt it to u leh! Oh wells, enjoy!
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Saturday, January 14, 2006 | 5:02 AM
After Chingay practice today, went out for lunch with Bee. The actual lunch lasted about 1 hr I think and we spent around 4 hrs (+ eating time) talking.
To sum it up, I learnt a lot more about her, now I am glad that we have the same wavelength regarding quite a lot of stuff. I get to do quite abit of extension, elaboration and shaping of my concept of what I term "the outsourcing of friendship" today. From my perspective, it can answer and simplify some of the interpeople relations I think I have.
As what dz said on his blog, how many people can find their soulmate in this one lifetime of theirs? And I interpret soulmate as someone whose every aspect of themselves and their lives (eg. character, living habits, attitude towards family) fits in or is a perfect match of yours. I would say a soulmate is what we always call the other half of a person. Even very very good friends are unable to fulfil that role usually. This is why I think we are able to have different friends. And why we behave differently towards two friends of equal closeness with you. It could be because, in different friends, you find different parts of youself.
Despite that outsourcing is theoretically a one sided process, and friendship being supposedly two sided, if we limit it to an indivdual's point of view, the forming of friendship with another person is one sided. (Think along the lines of econs, when we dicuss wage diferentials, if we compare dd factors, we keep ss constant.) So we assume first that each and every individual whom you make friends with reciprocate your friendship with regards to the nature of the friendship with equal, for lack of more appropriate words ), intensity and quality.
I think it would be easier to illustrate this using life's eg.s For example, there are certain friends that you specifically go to for advice or help. And that can be divided into sub grps in terms of studies, interpeople relations etc. There are friends you tend to talk crap to and joke with. Maybe these people may be more serious when talking to their other friends, but when he/she is talking to you, that joking side of him/her comes out. There are people you know you cant talk about life and death about etc. So what the whole thing essentially is is that, we behave differently towards people because of the different types of friendship we have, which is based on us wanting certain form of emotional connection with another person, which is ultimately based on their daily behavior. In this sense, it is as if, in Friend A, I find someone who I can joke with. In Person B, I see a study partner. Of corse, due to imperfect knowledge, you usually don't know the whole of the person's character due to the outsourcing taking place.
So how does this fit into what I as talking to Bee about? It is just that by doing so, we exclude some people from some parts of our lives. And this would result in one not being able to totally understand another. And this is a cycle. Because of the different interests people have, they tend keep people not sharing the same interests away from that part of their lives.
I think this entry's concept has not been fully developed. And certainly, this idea is flawed. Much as I think I should, I duno, think thru more clearly b4 wrting this, (but i m scared i will forget mar..), I think I most prob will leave it like this. Lazy mk.
And hark! I hear the curve sketching tut calling. Till next time.
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Friday, January 13, 2006 | 8:43 AM
I was reading a person's blog who has interesting documentaries with pretty cool pics about life in Korea, where he has been posted to. And thus I feel inspired to upload some prandom pics I have taken over the week.
CCA Bazaar:
The pro-est guzheng player and half of the male population onstage. I was really entanced by his playing because he was the only one who need not look at the fingerings, (is it called fingering for string instruments?) . And he played with a natural confidene which I would say gave him an attractive stage pressence.
I doubt it is clear enough but the first guy player is in the front row, middle stage. The second is omewhere at the back, to our right.
This bloody post alone took me ages to figure out how to get it like this. I declare Blogger non idiot-proof. Chingay refresher tmr I believe. I have to figure out how to get there soon. Maybe the answer will come to me in my dreams.
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| 7:47 AM
Isn't this flower pretty? It is taken from the tree right at the road divider between the two roads outside NY. Right after the rain one day on the overhead bridge. =)
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Thursday, January 12, 2006 | 7:20 AM
I have been kept away by the computer due to the onslaught of homework, (is that a rite of passage for teachs into the new year? ) Oh, I remember now, those hmwk aren't exactly new, in fact I owuld use the term, "caught up with me" instaed.
Was on the receiving end of kindness twice recently. -thanks- Two angels descended and in their own ways, helped. Lighthouse #1 was illumminating in describing my tangled mess of feelings. And on that rainy, morose day, it really really helped.
Angel #2 metamorphed into another form, and did me a great favour when no one else was willing to sacrifice their time to help. He didn't get to go for his cca thing, and since he was really the last person I would ever expect to help on his own initiative, I owe him my eternal grattitude. I am reminded of what was mentioned about my temper a long long time ago, DPW. (During Project Work). He just may be among the few who would dare to tell me about my temper.
I am humbled by what these people have done for me, for the singular reason that I believe they could have very well chosen not to do what they had done. And a conversation I had just now makes me understand even better the vast difference people can have in the views they hold.
Well, as for today, we had a talk. I noticed the careful deliberation of not using the word "expulsion". But from what our various tutors have mentioned, it is obvious that the school's stand has been toughened against deliquencies.
Speaking of which, I would say, so far the rules announced are pretty much acceptable and expected of by the sociey's standards. Generally, because of the explanations given, I think those reasons are pretty much valid. Oh come on, as what has been said, 10+yrs of school rules le, what's the diff with one more year of it? Of course, maybe when I am late, I wouldnt be so quick to defend the school rules. =) In fact, I can safely say I will be cursing them. =P
I foresee a parallel. The government governs and keeps all charities in check. The question raised by the public, who keeps the government in check, as shown by the need for such highlighted during the NKF saga. I think it can be a valid question assuming imperfect knowledge about certain things. But generally, I do believe, that the intentions are good at heart, just that again, due to imperfect knowledge, efficiency still cannot be achieved despite government intervention. So, basing upon my un-cynical, hopeful, optimistic nature, I do hope everyting would turn out fine.
This entry was supposed to have been posted yesterday and I am glad I took the time to reread this entry and edit some of the stuff. After today, where certain more basic colours of human nature have been revealed, I feel that I don't think I will trust her that easily anymore. Oh well.
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Monday, January 09, 2006 | 7:54 AM
Looks like stars of the universe? -ponders picture doubtfully-
Actually this is my only successful (in the sense that it is slightly aove presentable) attempt out of ten to capture a shot of the raindrops at night. Had to balance out the exposure with the shutterspeed. Damn. I still think I should have pyschoed my mum into the 5.1 MP one. Ohwell, when Dad gets his SLR serviced, I am gona steal it and use it! But film costs quite a bomb. =X
Gotta sleep. Btw, I saw, Samuel is still in.
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Saturday, January 07, 2006 | 6:33 AM
Something is wrong with my left index finger!! Whenever I bend it, sharp pain keeps shooting through the knuckle! And it is really scarily painful. :( I remembered that I injured it during the sch hols while playing bball. But while the pain has been there all the time, it was just a smal in intensity. This is like bone-splitting pain, and I cant even like lift it a little to point at something while not moving my wrist. T_T
Anyway, snuck in some reading time after the CIP thing. Popped into Amk lib on my own. It was bliss to be able to sit down and read the day away! I found this book on speed reading which I decided to read in comparision to the another one I once read and this is way better.
Apart from simply teachig you how to move your eyes across the paper quickly, ( F.Y.I just imagine a vertical line cutting through the prose and scan your eyes left and right, while trying to take in around two lines of info at the same time, or using a guider eg. your finger and move through the text, also aiming for more than 2 lines.. You know the drill..) actual effective speed reading actually requires reading for comprehension and recall. The steps actually require you to read ceratin parts of the books eg, foreword, glossary, first para to get an idea of how the author writes (so as to know where the key points are), his style and sentence structure. All these skills enable you to speed read prose to get the information you need quickly. So we will need to know what are we looking for.
And apparently, a human's reading speed can actually go up to be 400 words per minute!! And that it was the Air Force which first introduced the concept of training speed reading. Except that it is in a slightly different context. The pilots had to undergo a training during which images of fighter planes were flashed onto a screen at increasing speed. And it then evolved into flashing increasing number of words onto a screen while the duration is kept constant. The trainess are then reported to have increased reading speeds and informatoin processing skills. That is so cool!
I also came across a another book on Applied Mathematics in social sciences, econs and business but I didnt get a chance to read it in depth. Skimming through the contents page, I discovered something shocking. I saw that Maxima and minima were used to help cities construct buildings. I have no idea how is it being used, but I am gona find out if I go back to the lib.
I also came across this. It is written by the creator of Dilbert, Scott Adams. I had really liked his creations and this time round, I am surprised by his new work. It really is food for thought. It is in fiction, yet it challenges our perceptions of God. Here's his introduction:
"This is not a Dilbert book. It contains no humor. I call it a 132-page thought experiment wrapped in a fictional story. I’ll explain the thought experiment part later. God’s Debris doesn’t fit into normal publishing cubbyholes. There is even disagreement about whether the material
is fiction or nonfiction. I contend that it is fiction because the characters don’t exist. Some people contend that it is nonfiction because the opinions and philosophies of the characters
might have lasting impact on the reader. The story contains no violence, no sexual content, and
no offensive language. But the ideas expressed by the characters are inappropriate for young minds. People under the age of fourteen should not read it. The target audience for God’s Debris is people who enjoy having their brains spun around inside their skulls."
(http://images.ucomics.com/images/pdfs/sadams/godsdebris.pdf)
You might want to check it out. Pesonally, I find this deviation from his usual works some sort of a breakthrough. Had you read his intros to his comics before, or even seen his creations, I think you would have realised that he is a very observant person whi manages to distill aspects of working life, and reality into funny situations which seem unreal. I have always thought that he is a little bit of a cynic. Hmm..
I am impressed by how the scenarios are thought out and presented. And it is always an experience to look at things differently. I am not done reading it yet. Some of the stuff mentioned created a resonance in me because that was what I had wondered about before. It is becoming something which has gripped me, and in the sadistic manner warned by Adams, I think I may just enjoy my brains being fried this time.
Do take his disclaimers and intro seriously though.
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| 4:12 AM
Gone were the days where poorly lit, musty smells, worn covers, torn pages the norm of libraries. Yet this grandeur, awe-inspiring tome of knowledge aura survives the rough onslaught of time, the more glamourised and meteroic rise of the internet as a source of information and the general disengagement from the people from the need to read due to overbombardment of information.
The distinguished old gentleman with greying hair, dressed smartly in a black, pressed suit, making his way down the street in grey London in his trusty polished black boots, passing window displays with their bright, brash offerings, cold mannequins kept warm by animal fur, tapping his cane against the tiled pavement, slippery with the condensation of the sweat of the cold biting wind.
Libraries conjure up images like that in my mind.
There is also this scene in the first Harry Potter movie, depicting Harry in the Ollivander shop, buying his first wand. When I had first watched that scene, I thought the scene fitted the feel Rowling had given in her book, and when Harry felt a warm glow upon picking up the wand, the scene was like the two different worlds of imagery and literary colliding, merging and forming a timeless frame of movie in my head. Sweet.
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Friday, January 06, 2006 | 2:22 AM
First friday with new timetable. I think there is this nice sene of familarity continuing the practice of having physics prac on friday. And Mrs Chan is right on the count that it is our first free friday and we dont know what to do with our time. Actually, something was planned but due to unforseen circumstances, I didn't get to play. Eeek. Having loads of time now is currently a novelty and luxury. I don't think I will be thinking like this very soon, judging by the imminent lecture tests and stuff.
Today's PE instructor is Mr Tommy Lee. I think maybe we are rotating the instructors or something because Mr Lim was taking us on Wed. Both had different approaches to training us for Napfa and both are just as torturous as how training for Napfa goes. However, for today, we can run 6 rounds at any speed, but on one condition, WITHOUT STOPPING. -knees buckle-
Well, I hate running just for running. While shaping up my lower limbs can be said as one of the comestic incentive to running, I still don't like it. Make me sprint after the bus, run ater a brat and pull his tongue out so he would stop making so much noise in AMK library, play bball (which doesnt mean much running cox I always play half court), or even chase after a white and black patched ball in the name of kicking it and scoring, but make me run and I freak. Maybe it is the striking resemblance it bears towards the monotony of some lectures or something. Haha.
The gals in my class are really really nice to want to complete the run together, and this means everyone having to stop to a crawl so that I can actually breath, jog and continue breathing. It really wasn't easy for me to continue running and running, because all the while my muscles are shrieking and I was thinking that each step didn't bring me to the finishing line fast and near enough. Which brings me to the strength of positive thinking and the manipulativity of the human mind. I think I don't take encouragement to heart easily sometimes. Especially when my negative thoughts were polarising my optimism. Bee was really great, she managed to keep up a flow of monologue to distract me and banned me from replying. :) I would say that it actually does work okay, I only managed to discover that I hasbt been stopping by the 4th plus round. Bee started in third. =)
-random thought- Just remembered those TV shows where they show people trying to commit suicide by jumping off the roof. There will always be police, or some relative, or some passerby who has suffered greater trials and tribulations and survived, who manages to distract the person with the logic of not jumping in a continuous babble, and while the person is distracted, a police oficer would dash out, grab the person to safety, who would do one of these things. 1. Break down and cry. 2. Angrily attack the officer for saving them. Collapse and faint. 4. Run towards the loved ones and hug. Okok, of course all these losuy thoughts are products of too much quality time spent withthe TV. But man, Ms Tay is right. Channel 8 is dangerous.
Anyway, Jamie and Eeling both took turns to compare my leg length and insist that I can take bigger strides, and the rest kept up a flow encouragement etc. It must have been hard for them to adapt to my pace, if one would even call mine a pace. This reminds me of smthg like the rate determining step. And whenever I stopped, Jamie shoves, albeit gently, and threatens to step on my feet if I dont start jogging again. And so, I finished the whole run with only stops which lasted a maximum of 2 secs each. Less than that, considering that I was forced to continue in mid rest. =D And I am not complaining that I finished the run in such a manner by the way, I am touched and encouraged by what those babes had done. Thanks, I really apreciate that.
Of course, there is always the thought of waking up tmr with aching muscles to remind me that finishing the run doesnt mean the ordeal is over. =)
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Thursday, January 05, 2006 | 3:18 AM
Everything is finally set into motion for the selection for a new class commitee, expecially the CT postions, though Mrs Chan's intentions was to retain the CT, welfare and CIP postions. Feeling kind of liberated, not exactly because I have stopped being a rep or anything. I do want to continue, if the class allows me to , and if, everyone is willing to play their parts, especially the commitee. But as I said, there are better people who would make better reps.
I am feeling freer because finally everyone is forced to take a good hard look at the CT rep's job scope and everyone's expectations of a CT rep. What is left unmentioned, or set in motion to be mentioned, however, are the rep's expectations of everyone else whom they are working with, and expectations towards the class. We now also have to acknowledge the lack of unity in our class which some people are comfortable with, and some who are not.
I have wondered how do people see the CT reps. As 2 individuals or twin reps or smthg. This is a pretty important question, because we both actually have rather different thinking and I don't think I have done my part well in being a good colleague to Doreen, and identifying and taking on certain aspect of the roles of the CT reps which are to our own strengths. In my partnership with Doreen, it have been clear to me, and to Bee Hua who said she had noticed, that we both think and work differently, and I think I have to take some responsibilty fornot succeeding in making us work more efficiently and better together. While things may have worked out in the end, people who are part of the process should very well know that things never work out perfectly. I also want to say that also is that there is a lack of a communication channel where we can communicate to the class as CT reps, and to let them understand certain things from our points of view, and to let them communicate their expectations, or feedback.
It is also this lack of communication which makes me feel very insecure and judged upon. Due to imperfect knowledge, people have no idea why we do certain things sometimes, and why certain things never take place, and I sometimes sacrifice some of the obligations which I think the class should have performed, such as the getting the class to thank the teachers, simply because, no one had signalled if they mind , and if they are capable of doing it everytime lessons end. And, itis my fault that I never dared to ask. I am grateful in this case, to Peck Hor, for he has shown by self example, that it should have been done. I had been worrying if the class would mind, and dreaded the reluctance and inertia I was so afraid to find myself receiving. because my class isn't exactly famed for our enthusiasm, or rather, willingness to do such things. Is it an excuse? I think in some way, it may very well have been exploited by me as one.
I really do feel a sense of pressure as the CT rep because of certain expectations certain people
I think, have of me. I do compare myself against some people whom I think are good leaders, and this is why I told Mrs Chan, I think that there are bettter candidates for the job. I do have to say, I know I can never change myself so that I can be like some of those qualities which I think the candidates separately have. Their qualities fit more of the requirements for the leader s6ye needs that whatever properties, I wouldnt even call them qualities, I have.
There are unrealistic expectations which we could have dealt with, my own, and others'. One which is the full particpation, not attendance f.y.i, for, or even replies to inquiries sent by sms. It is time that we know that everyone has different preferences for leisurely activities and for class outings, people generally do not feel obligated to turn up, be it for reasons such as "I don't like that activity, "I don't like ceratin people", "I don't feel the need/want to bond with my class" etc. Come on, people who think this way do exist. And justifiably, we cant force our demands that people turn up. As Dezhi who had explained to me, it could just be the reason that people are comfortable with the class being the way it is now, or that at tertiary education levels, we are more invidualistic, or indepedent now. "Classmates" do not have to be interdependent, or dependent on each other to perform the duties of a "friend". Meaning, they could find more joy with other friends outside of the class, which is perfectly reasonable.
Anyone who has organized class/cca/group activities should know. It is not easy. What with everyone preferring to do their own stuff, and having other commitments, plus not knowing each other that well. I have learnt not to expect full agreement on what to do, and I think, Zirong might have learnt too, that, even by using the CT reps' "influence", it wont make the whole class turn up. Becuase, CT rep or not, having no clear idea on what to do and suggesting the class lend their support, won't work out. Which brings me to another point. Outings, are not CT reps to initiate only. Anyone who has an idea, can suggest or organize. If you want something, bring it up to discuss. Because, we have just as much idea as you do on what we can do as a class. We honestly cant think of anything perfect enough, so really, we need help. Go on, stand in our shoes and take a look at figuring out an activity to do as a class besides studying.
This doesn't mean I am against class outings or am trying to justify where there are so few. I come from a class which has its own cliques where class outings are just as infrequent as s6aye, where people generally do not interact much or in that much depth. But I belong to a cca where unity and bonds are much treasured and needed. My CCA needs a certain level of bonding to work together as we are playing the same piece of music, we need the mo4 qi4. So yes, there isn't a fixed protocol, a certain standard to which classes must behave as, and I think everyone should recognise that. And then, maybe we can accept that activities will never be fully embraced. I think we can, however, do be there to provide full support. By turning up, or even better, actively participating or helping out. It is alot more illuminating one's intentions can be, by observing what they do when they have turned up. I think Weiss recognised a very good point, that one can contribute as a member of the class, and that is what me and Doreen has been hoping from everyone all along. A little support, and help.
I have enjoyed being a rep though I think I seemed to have made it sound like it is horrible, but it hasn't been bad. Most of the time we spend as a class is to study actually. I am thinking it is just time to voice out what some of the stuff i have been thinking about throughout the whole year thats all. I believe that those things listed happen to all classes, it is not just s6aye which has such things happening. It may be that I am oversensitive to whatever signals I receive form my classmates to make me think that s6aye is in deep peril or that I am being criticized or judged that harshly. Amid all these stuff which obsturct one's search for inner peace, are a lot of little events, gesteurs and stories that make me thankful I belong to s6aye. I think they form some of the really good memories for 2005. There are still alot of things I have learnt but I think I shall record them down another time. All in all, those are just lessons hich every leader has to learn, and at this point in writing, I would say that spending a year to learn and experience all this, I am content to have reached where I am. While it may seem as if we haven't done much, I can honestly say, for both me and Doreen, it had been quite a lot.
I did request Mrs Chan to mention some expectations of the job scopes of various commitee posts next week and hopefully, everyone would have a clearer idea of each person's post. Vanessa's class did something interesting, they exchanged the posts so everyone can try their hand at something new. Feeling anticipation at how s6aye wld turn out now. Hmm, this is an interseting feeling. Admittedly both me and Doreen do want to continue being the reps, but Doreen said smthg which is true. She said that it is time to give other people an opportunity to experience what we had, and this being said, I actually am beginning to think she is right. Maybe we can both take some other posts or something but that is for the class to decide. Meanwhile, I do realise this is sounding more and more like a farewell or eulogy. Haha, actually, I think I am lagging, most people do thier reflections by December. Oh well.
Gah, look at the time! My externality report!!
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| 2:48 AM
Reached home while the rain was pouring and despite having an looming econs deadline, couldn't resist trying out my camera to test out the shutter speed. There wasn't too much choices to choose from, 1/50, 1/100 and 1/200 apart from the auto setting. A little too fast to caputre stream of raindrops at 1/200. Only 3 long drops. But I had loads of fun =D Well, as muc fun as you can have with a teeny 16mb for picture storage anyway. The 256mb one will hopefully be here soon. Well, this is the only one shot I am bothering to upload because there aren't many others to choose from.
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Tuesday, January 03, 2006 | 4:36 AM
Wah. I was reading my entry yesterday and I didn't realise I sounded that angry. I was angry, but I thought I had toned it down. Whatever. I started panicking last night after posting those stuff and called Doreen in a mad attempt to calm myself down.
And this morning, I woke up at 5.30am with less than 4 hrs of sleep. Haha, I am remembering about what I once mentioned, Mr Haniss survived JC on 4 hrs of sleep. Speaking of which, he is better now. Apparently his operation did improve things. Thank goodness for that. Which reminds me, I am still thinking about dropping econs. Mrs Chan dropped a bombshell 0r rather bait during tutorial. She said that those who droppped econs will have permanent physics remedial on wed morn. Is that a good incentive or what?! I definitely need the extra lessons. Bleagh. Not even Choon plus 1 week of intense revision will get me past the topic circuits, I bet.
Oh well. Reached school on time, and was not greeted by Mr Haniss with his apparent new catchphrase "Nice seeing you." Whew! Dad is not going to be sending me to school cox NY is in Serangoon and SA Potong Pasir. Sighhhhhhhhh............
New Math and GP tutors. Due to the NY website being frustratingly inaccessible last night, I was unable to find out how did our new tutors look like. Mr Seah is still ok cox he has lectured before. But seeing the words Wong Lai Yong doesnt offer any clue to the person's identity. Under the impression that the mentioned tutor was a male, we walked into the classroom, and well, discovered that it is a she. Hmm, I do agree with Weiss though. I miss both Ms Yau and Mr Chee. I prefer their teaching methods, more action, less talk, and throw in a bit of humour at times. I hope I will be able to adjust to it soon. Or maybe it is just the first day la. If she can work, everything is fine. I like what she said about co-operation though. Shall not speculate anything yet. Mr Kwek said speculation is not good. GP was interesting and decidedly lazy. Mr Seah looks like he can hold his own in debates, and based on hwo he presented the lectures last time, I guess GP is gona be interesting. However, the room we are in is really like slacker-ish. Armchairs, lounges... It is so cool!!
Long entry marking impt events today. I hear my econs assignment calling me now.
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Monday, January 02, 2006 | 5:32 AM
Time and tide wait for no one.
One overwhelms you with the grandeur of its sweeping movements, lethal in its breathtaking beauty. The other, passes unnoticed, as its swift pace leaves one further behind than one's shadow.
So tides bathe the castles till there is no more sand to be washed off. No more castles, no more sand.
And time has once again ravaged our souls, till they are hollow shells, to be filled up with the emptiness.
And so as the new day's rays burn through all those human chains we call relations, and imbue in them the golden strength of Apollo, maybe.. Tomorrow may just be a better day.
I cant help, but be disappointed that gold is apparently not strong enough to bind Hercules.
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| 5:19 AM
YES. My damn com is freaking fixed. And guess what? Just in time for me to go online and check out my econ assignment and timetable. Oh, what is this? Ah!!! I cant access the NY website!! What the fuck!
Ok, I am a little pissed right now. I am frazzled all over my homework. ( Give me that "I told you you should have done your homework look again and I will fucking dig your eyeballs out, damnit.)
-deep breath-
Ok, I am better now. This time, the repairs cost $200. And I am not pms-ing. Yet. I am just disturbed about starting school tmr. I hate that I didnt have the chance to blog about the so many thoughts I had during the last week, and that I will most definitely be blogging about the new one, and I figure I probably wont be sounding happy over this new year. This week, at least.
The NY website is still loading. Great, just great.